Well tomorrow is the day I take my first HPT, I am terrified, after 30 months (not including the 26 months trying for my son 5 years ago) of nothing but negatives and heart ache, I am finding it hard to believe I could actually see a positive, my mind is trying to imagine good news and seeing a positive but its out weighed with fear of so much failure that I've experienced. No surprising James this time, we've decided to do the test together in the morning, I will admit, while its still early, if I don't see a least somewhat of a line, I will lose all hope.
Please pray for me, I pray that I will get a positive result tomorrow and actually allow myself to believe this could be it, I want the little lives that were put in my uterus so badly, I cannot even describe it, until tomorrow.......
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